


Five Lifetimes

by hakim



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, References to Twist and Shout - gabriel & standbyme, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakim/pseuds/hakim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the first life, he was just an angel stationed on earth, watching, observing humans as they evolved. He was fond of those God’s creations; even prefer them over his heavenly brothers and sisters. He was called the Angel of Thursday. For millions of years, he witnessed everything in solitude, like the Tower of Babel, the moment when Cain murdered Abel, and those small yet remarkable events. He simply watched over mankind without interference.<br/>Until he laid eyes on The Righteous Man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Lifetimes

Castiel never thought Dean and Sam Winchester would one day retired from the family business and had a normal life. But the brothers had an angel on their shoulder. And for once the world wasn’t coming to an end or on the verge of complete destruction.  
The first thing on Dean’s to do list was soaking his feet in white sand and warm ocean water. Castiel was next to him, holding his hand as Dean left footprints on the beach. And this calm, apple-pie life Dean could have never dared to dream of continued for over fifty years, with his guardian angel by his side.

The former hunter and Man of Letter grew old, but Castiel didn’t. He hadn’t age a day since he took Jimmy Novak as vessel.  
“I look like your frigging grandpa.” Dean sometimes complained while running both hands through his short gray hair.  
“No Dean. And I do not have grandparents.” Castiel would grin at the grumpy man and give him a warm smile.

On Dean’s last day on earth, Castiel was surprisingly calm and quiet. Dean once again grumbled about feeling exhausted for no reason. Castiel helped him under the blankets, and he sat on the corner of their bed like he used to do when they were still friends, when he would watch over Dean while the hunter had nightmares.  
“You still look like a creep angel.” Dean teased.  
“And you still look like the assbutt I raised from perdition.”  
“Ok, touché.”

They enjoyed the light mood between them, it gave the illusion that everything was still the same as it had always been. The room went silent for few moments, and then Dean let out a sigh.

“I can’t remember a lot of things now, Cas.” He said. “But I still remember the first time we met. You came into the barn with that dirty trench coat and messy hair. And I put a demon knife in you.”  
“Yes, I remember that. I thought you were a brave little ant for trying to kill an angel of the Lord.” Castiel couldn’t help but chuckled.  
“Yeah well I didn’t believe in angels back then.” The old man argued in defense. “But Cas, I feel like there’s more, before we met in that barn. I feel like that wasn’t the beginning, you know?”  
Castiel held on to his wrinkled hand tightly.  
“Yes, I understand what you mean.” He said, slowly rubbing his thumb along Dean’s wrists. Images of memories flashed across this mind, Castiel recalled every smallest incident they shared, and the most insignificant things about Dean Winchester. Like the goofy face Dean made when he sang karaoke, the taste of the first pie they baked together, or the sound of Dean’s snores when he slept.

“Dean, let me tell you a story, let me tell you our story.”

***

In the first life, he was just an angel stationed on earth, watching, observing humans as they evolved. He was fond of those God’s creations; even prefered them over his heavenly brothers and sisters. He was called the Angel of Thursday. For millions of years, he witnessed everything in solitude, like the Tower of Babel, the moment when Cain murdered Abel, and those small yet remarkable events. He simply watched over mankind without interference.  
Until he laid eyes on The Righteous Man.

The Angel couldn’t help but develop feelings for the green-eye man, human feelings.  
Ignored the warnings from the archangels, he started to interact with The Righteous Man, became his friend, became his guardian angel. He was eager to learn kindness, friendship, and love. He wanted to understand those that made humans special.  
“We’re just…us. I don’t see anything exceptional.” One day The Righteous Man told him.  
“Humans are rough, authentic. You create art, music, culture. That is not something we have.” The Angel said as he sat next to The Righteous Man under a tree. “And above all, you have the freedom of choice.”  
“Well, I suppose it’s not that hard.” The Angel turned to him and stared into those hazel green eyes with curiosity. “When you want something, just go get it.”

So that’s what The Angel did. He went to his Father and asked what he wanted since he fell for The Righteous Man.  
“Are you certain this is what you want?” God asked.  
“Yes Father, I want to be a human.” The Angel saw the flash of sadness in his Father’s eyes. But he was in love, so he overlooked the sign that was right in front of him.  
And his wish was granted.

The first thing he did after becoming a human was to find The Righteous Man.  
“Wow, you did that for me? You’re a human now?”  
“Yes.” The Angel said proudly, it was the first decision he had ever made, and it filled his heart with hope and pride.  
“That’s great! Now you can learn all about the human things.”  
“Yes, that is always intriguing.” He replied. “But I have to tell you something…”  
“Oh yeah me, too! Remember the maiden next to our village, Lisa? I’ve decided to marry her.”  
The Angel went quiet as he kept on talking. He could hear the excitement in The Righteous Man’s voice as his heart crumpled into pieces. He fought back the “I love you” lingering on his lips.  
So he never revealed his true feelings to anyone. And on the wedding night, rain poured down and washed away a former angel’s tears.  
For the rest of their first life, The Angel was just a friend of the man he loved.

***

In the second life, The Angel was a physician, and The Righteous Man was a swordsman. They met before they could barely walk, grew up together as best friends, and inevitably fell in love. Their first kiss happened near a lake, right after The Righteous Man gave The Angel a dandelion and confessed his love for him. On that day, The Angel asked him to say those three words over hundreds of times, for he had been waiting for that phase since the past life.

But their love was a sin, an abomination; it brought damnation to the small town, so the Reverend said. They were imprisoned separately for the trial, but they could hear each other’s screams as they were being tortured every night.  
They were sentenced to death soon after. Both of them were shackled and brought to the heart of the town, where they were to be stoned by the people. The Angel’s vision was blurred by blood, but he still recognized the distorted faces of his neighbors, the church folks, and those he had known for years. They were yelling insults, beating them, full of the anger that he couldn’t comprehend.

“Hey, look at me.” The Righteous Man reached out for his hand as they were pushed to the ground. He turned his head and met those green eyes. “Just focus on me, everything will be alright.”  
The Angel’s tears were mixed with blood. He could tell the despair in those comforting words, so he locked their fingers together.  
“I love you.” The Angel said. And the stones stared to smash onto their body, breaking them.  
He saw The Righteous Man moved his lips, mumbled something maybe sweet or assuring.  
But the voice was drowned in the crowd before he could grasp it.

***

In the third life, The Angel was born a noble’s daughter, and The Righteous Man was a Laird. They met at their wedding, and the first time those ocean blue met his hazel green, they knew they had known each other since centuries ago.  
They spent every possible second together, as if they were making up for the lost time from the past lives. The Angel was soon pregnant with the heir of the old household. And she loved it when the father snuggled with her, rubbing small circles on her stomach.

She experienced the most excruciating pain during labor. She could hear her frantic screams and the instructions from the midwives. Her husband was asked to wait outside of the room, but she wished he was there.  
After what seemed like an eternity, The Angel heard a loud cry and gasps of joy.

“It’s a beautiful baby boy!” One of the midwives said. She smiled faintly, but she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open. She felt the world was spinning, body drained and weak, and the voices around her seemed to be fading.  
“The bleeding would not stop!” The midwives were panicking. They were adding pressure on her, calling her name, but she couldn’t stop drifting away.  
This cannot be, The Angel thought to herself, it cannot end like this. She was having the perfect life, and it wasn’t fair for both of them to end in this way. The face of The Righteous Man came to her mind, and she felt tears sliding down her cheeks.

She never learned the color of her child’s eyes.

***

In the fourth life, they were born in a transcending time, full of energy and music. The Angel and The Righteous Man saw each other at a party. They would say they fell in love right there on that summer night, with The Beatles playing in the background.  
But The Angel didn’t realize he was in love until he told The Righteous Man that he liked Elvis, and was replied with “I can dig Elvis.”  
They danced to the gentle sounds of music and Elvis’ voice as the green-eye man sang along.  
“I’m gonna stick like glue, stick because I’m stuck with you.” He loved seeing the blue-eye angel blushed and beamed.  
It was one of their favorite memories before The Righteous Man was drafted during the Vietnam War.

The Angel couldn’t imagine what he had gone through, but when his lover came back a year later, he was no longer the same. He was an empty shell. It was as if all they had were being shattered like those broken bottles. His love was cold and distant, but The Angel couldn’t hate the wounded soul.  
And he still couldn’t bring himself to hate The Righteous Man when he left. The Angel understood The Righteous Man didn’t want to keep hurting him, hurting each other. But the pain was devastating, overwhelming all of his sense. And eventually The Angel dulled his suffering with needles.

They didn’t see each other until years later in a hospital, when The Angel was dying from terminal illness. Those beautiful hazel green eyes he missed so much were full of regret and sorrow, and it was the least thing he wanted to see.  
“You finally came home to me…”  
And they could be happy again, they promised to one another, and the promise was kept.

The Angel died on a beautiful Thursday afternoon. He kept saying “I love you” while The Righteous Man sang his favorite Elvis song.  
“Wise men say, only fools rush in…”  
“But I can’t help- I…I can’t help falling in love, with you…”  
It didn’t seem right to say goodbye, so they parted with “see you then.”

***

In this life, The Angel was brought back to the home upstairs and once again became Heaven’s soldier. He remembered everything, he remembered details of their past lives, and how The Righteous Man had him fallen in every possible way.  
“When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” Once his sister said, he agreed. And he would choose to do it all over again.

“Only fools run toward wars or love.” Castiel said softly, combing Dean’s hair with fingers. “So you see, we were both fools. You ran to wars just like I ran towards love. But all of those moments led us here, exactly where we are supposed to be.”  
Dean was already asleep, with the little smirk he always had on the corner of his lips. Castiel knew Dean would soon go to Heaven, probably shared one with Sam like they once did.  
Castiel leaned over to press a kiss on Dean’s forehead.

They didn’t say goodbye last time because it was too painful. But this time, Castiel knew goodbye wouldn’t be necessary.

***

Dean woke up in the front seat of the Impala, the place he was familiar with the most. He was confused for a moment, then fear washed over him.  
“Sam?” He looked around and yelled. “Cas?”

He must be dreaming, he thought, or worst, on a case, trying to kill some ghouls or demons. But soon after, memories of his retirement came back to him. He remembered going to the beach with Castiel, picking shells and building sand castle like kids that day. He remembered trying to bake a pie with Castiel and burned the whole damn thing. He remembered being happy, like they promised long time ago.

Dean got out of the Impala, and his old house was in front of him. Not the one he lived with Castiel for more than fifty years, but the one where he lost his mother, the one he lived until four. He now recognized the streets, and the withered tree in front of the house.  
Dean walked up to the front door, it was unlocked. He pushed it open and was welcomed by warm surrounding and the smell of apple pie. Dean followed the smell to the kitchen, and was greeted by those bright blue eyes he adored.

“Hello, Dean.”


End file.
